Tag Archives: Time

6.28.2016 ~ Time

The other day I had to run some errands in town and when I asked if anyone wanted to go with me, my youngest son suggested that he would.

Our stops were uneventful, our conversation was good, we learned a few things along the way, and we almost found everything we needed.

Upon getting back home I said simply, “Thanks for coming with me buddy.”

To which he quickly replied, “Thanks for letting me!”

At dinner that evening we went through our highs for the day.  His and mine were the same, running errands together in town.

We are in the custom and habit of eating dinner together as a family, and actually right now we have been eating all of our meals together as a family.  One of the things we do on a regular basis when we sit down to an evening meal is to go over the high lights of our day.  Family members aren’t forced to share, but it is definitely encouraged.  We usually don’t need help with conversation around the table but sometimes checking in with each other at the end of the day, especially when life is busy, is a good place to connect with one another.

As I thought about my son’s response of “thanks for letting me” and his high light being the same as mine I spend some time reflecting on how important it is for us to spend time with our children, and how really our time is all they really want from us.  At least at the age and stage of life my youngest is in.

He says he hates going more than a day without seeing or talking to his parents.  This can happen when we travel our work gets us out the door early and home late, so we have to do a good job of connecting when we can.  Technology helps with this, as does impromptu car rides to run errands.  Once in a busy season I stopped by his school and got him out of class just so we could see each other.

This is also the kind who when he was a toddler would run and pick up a phone to say hi whenever my name was said.  I was gone a lot for work, and talking on the phone was one of the ways I could connect with my sons.  I didn’t keep that job very long.

My encouragement to parents today is to spend time with your children, even if you have to postpone doing something important.

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6.20.16

I woke up this morning in the backyard.

Last night my oldest son, Samuel, made it known that he wanted to camp out in the back yard again sometime this summer.  He thought sometime after we were done with the GAPS INTRO, or after we get back from vacation.  I said, “How about tonight?”

We got the 3 person tent out and set it up quickly and without any swear words being muttered under my breath.

We loaded up with the essentials, including of course flash lights and books, bid good night to the rest of the family, and retired for the evening.

Fortunately the temperature is still cooling down at night, and with the tent windows unzipped, the cool air was relaxing and nice.

We read for awhile, said good night to each other, turned the flash lights off … and dozed off to sleep.

Zoe, our 8 year old black lab, was in the tent with us, sleeping on Samuel’s bag.  She doesn’t like to go inside when we are sleeping out there.  At least not at first.  In the middle of the night, when I had to get up to relieve myself, she made it known that she wanted in the house.  I obliged, grateful the tent wouldn’t smell like dog any more.

I woke early to first light, and the sounds of the neighborhood and nature.  I was refreshed, and except for a little soreness in my back my body felt good.  I laid there in the stillness, resting, listening, praying, thinking, and enjoying every bit of the moment.

The simple things in life are good.

When my son inquires about sleeping out in the back yard it is hard for me to say no, except for when my body is to sore from sleeping on the ground.  Lately, it is has been hard to say no when any of my boys ask me to do something with them.  They might get a “not now, in a little bit,” but I have been doing a better job of following through and spending time with them doing what they want to do.

Trampoline.  Bike rides.  Basketball. Game night. Back yard camping.

We all need to spend time doing fun things with our children.  Especially in the summer.

Makes life more fun, at least it has been for me.

Now I have to go … evidently the camp out is going to last at least 2 nights.

 

 

 


A Decade of Life

One evening during dinner seven or eight years ago one of my sons asked “Hey Dad, what are we going to do together after dinner?”

Evidently I had set a precedent for spending time with my sons in the evening doing something they enjoyed.  I think that evening we ended up in the parking lot of the school across the street from our house riding bikes and scooters.

This practice continues.  I usually try to say yes when one of my sons asks me to do something with them in less already have something else going on, in which case the answer is “later.”  Sometimes later turns into the next day but hey, I’m still trying to get this fathering things figured out.

Last night was no exception and I went for a bike ride around town with my youngest son.  We have been doing this a lot lately, and besides the conversation the highlights include seeing how far we can coast in one section, and a one lap race around the track.  I’m up 2 to 1 in the races in case you are tallying the results!

Son number 3 turns 10 today and he has a fun day planned, if you subtract having to go to the school for registration.  The highlights will be floating the Boise River this afternoon, and spending the day together as a family.

Son number 3 is such a great person, and a fine young man.  He is a creative type loving to build with Legos and wood, and enjoying drawing.  Passion and intensity run deep in my third son and it is fun to see him put these traits to good use.  I enjoy watching him care for animals and other people, and the time we spend reading the Bible and having spiritual conversations.  His sense of humor and joy for life are contagious, I love it when he makes me laugh!

Happy birthday B! Here is to year number 10 being a great one!


Blogging 2.0

I haven’t been consistent at writing on this blog.  You may have noticed.

I don’t know if I will be more consistent now, but I am going to try to be as I slowly move this idea of mine forward.

I think I might even set some writing goals and actually try to reach them.  Baby steps.

A couple of nights ago my youngest came outside where I was sitting at the round patio table enjoying the summer evening and asked me if I wanted to play catch.  I of course said yes, not wanting to be the “dad” who turns down a game of catch.  Think Field of Dreams, “Hey Dad. Do you want to have a catch?”

So we had a game of catch.  On my end there was more throwing and running after the ball because of someone trying to imitate Mariano Rivera, but we still had a great time.  When we were finishing up my sons simply explained how he had “needed some more parent time.”  I’m guessing that often in our busy and technology filled lives that often our children just want a little more parent time.

Parents, giving them that time is up to us.


Board Games and Re-Start

Two weeks after starting this blog I fell back into my normal pattern of starting something (a great idea) and keeping it in the idea phase. Not his time though. Consider this a re-start.

For those who don’t know, I coach basketball at the high school level, the Junior Varsity team to be exact. Now that our season is over I can devote my mornings to writing, instead of heading to the gym to open the gym up for practice at 5:30 AM. I’m not making excuses, but am recognizing a reality that I was trying to cram too much in to my day, and my creative moments of quiet found me struggling to stay awake. Here’s to another try!

Last night after dinner I played checkers with two of my boys, while their older brother finished homework, beating them soundly each game. Most of the time I like playing games, board games, card games, etc. with my boys and last night was no exception. Game playing gives our family a way to spend quality time together while engaging the mind and having conversations that generally improve our relationships with one another.

A few months ago I was meeting with some members of our community about starting a “homework club” for some of the students in our schools. During the course of our conversation I shared that just playing simple board and card games with the children would be a meaningful experience. One of the people present also worked in our elementary school and shared how a good number of students in our schools have no idea how to play board games.

While this makes me sad on many levels, I also see the opportunity to teach these young people, and also to encourage parents to spend time with their children playing games. The alternatives of playing video games, and watching television and movies for hours on end do not excite me, nor do they stimulate the minds of young children the way conversation and a board game can.

Take some time to play a game with your kids today.


Post 2: Time

I’m a part of a “Man Club” (my name for it), that meets on the first Monday of every month at my friend’s house.  Our second such gathering just finished an hour ago and I am happy to announce that none of us have cried yet.  We get together, guided by a video and workbook with questions, to discuss matters related to manhood such as parenting, marriage, faith, work, and being the best versions of ourselves.

At one point tonight our discussion turned to practical and concrete ideas for ensuring good relationships with our children both now and into the future.  We were not looking to make a list but our conversation focused on time, honesty, and making sure to tell our children that we love them.   Today’s post will focus on time.

My oldest son received several model airplanes for Christmas this year and because he needs help with activities involving fine motor skills I have been helping him build the first model, a B-17 Bomber which will hang from his bedroom ceiling upon completion.  I don’t have time to fully introduce my oldest son to you in today’s post but I want you to know that Asperger Syndrome does not define him but rather allows him to approach and embrace life from a perspective different than my own.

On the day we first started working on the model plane my oldest son shared with me that working on the model was a good project for father and son bonding time.  Evidently, as it came out in the course of our conversation he was under the impression that things had not been going well between the two of us and we needed this time together as father and son.  While I assured him everything was good between the two of us, I couldn’t agree more that spending time together as father and son was always a great idea.

We work on the model together when time allows.  This involves me and my limited model building skills doing most of the work while my oldest son helps where he can while sharing with me facts and stories about B-17’s.  We have a good time together until the fumes from the paint and glue force us to take a break.

Time with our children is time well spent for several reasons, some of which I will mention here.

1) Our relationships with our children are important and we must spend time nurturing these relationships.  Perhaps as our children grow older a nurtured relationship will keep us close with them.

2) Spending time with our children doing something they enjoy or are interested in shows them we love them.

3) As we spend time with our children we have the opportunity to talk with them.  Not only do we learn more about each other, but opportunities for teaching and learning life lessons also occur.

4) Families are supposed to spend time together.  Parents and children are supposed to spend time together.  In a world of busyness, time spent with our children shows them they are important to us.

Time is important, and since I only have a few minutes to post this to reach my goal of posting something every day of the week except for Sunday, I must finish this brief and perhaps unfinished post.

As parents time spent with our children is time well spent.  I’m still learning this lesson after 14 years of parenting, perhaps you can learn this with me, and even teach me something along the way.